I Didn’t Mean to Abuse My Child

Lorene was a twenty-seven year old widow and mother of two, her children are nine and three. Their world is shattered with the sudden and untimely death of her husband and the children, one who will not have any memories of him now wander into a season of unintended consequences…

The CDC defines child abuse and neglect as “any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child.”

Lorene like so many others can be side swiped by life and left feeling like their trying to find a firm footing while walking and a water bed, there is no firm place to stand and every action causes an unknown and sometimes unwanted reaction. They long for just a modicum of what they once knew as normal. But those moments can be far apart and often too short.

The work of two parents had become doubled upon one leading to long days and lonely nights. She worked so hard to fill the many voids left in her  heart, mind, and life. Her families needs called for courage, and she answered! Her personal needs called also, this was a more difficult call, one that meant choices that would affect both hers and her children’s lives. The medication she entrusted to keep her on an emotional even-keel would be joined by something to help her both begin and end her day. Her once social drinking became a greater and great necessity often conflicting with her medications. Her social life would become a long list of night spots with an even longer list of men who past through their lives. 

At its peak, this led to her placing the youngest in the care of family members for extended periods of time while her oldest was called upon to be a somewhat “Faux” adult, be included in conversations and circumstances that were far beyond him. The neglect of a child isn’t always a willful intended choice, more often, it is a misguided unintentional pursuit of needs, wants, or addictions. Lorene’s neglect of her children began slowly but grew steadily in the shadow of her better judgment. When family members would address it with her she was left with only two choices repent and change her ways, or justify her choices which usually lead to arguments and discord.

Becoming a parent doesn’t mean we lose ourselves and become immune to the struggles of life and effects they may cause. However, we must always remember that our responsibility is to protect, provide, and guide for our children, we are forming a future adult and the early years are important. Trust me, I know first hand because I’m Lorene’s son. I truly love my Mom, and as a Father I can appreciate the challenges she faced. Her neglect wasn’t intentional, but they were choices that left life-long imprints on me. Parents, please make good choices.

Rev. Jimmy Vaughn

Authentic Life Fellowship

DrugFree Greenville Public Education Committee

Child Abuse Awareness

Child physical and sexual abuse is alarmingly prevalent in all communities. In Hunt County, approximately every 15 hours there is a confirmed case of child abuse.  These crimes have a lifelong effect on children and what type of adults they will become.  Many of us would like to believe that we would be able to recognize if abuse was happening to our own children.  Even more of us believe that we would know who the perpetrator is.  Unfortunately, upwards of 90% of all perpetrators is someone the child and the family knows, loves, and trusts; less than 1% of perpetrators are strangers.

            National research and statistics show that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18 years of age. 1 in 10 children will tell.  The statistics in Hunt County line up with those nationwide numbers as well.  It is in our backyard!  Perpetrators will groom the child and those around them to ensure the child will not tell and the perpetrator is not suspected.  Grooming is typically done in a very subtle way by using words, gifts, and coercion, but could also be direct by using threats to the child.

            This subject is difficult to discuss or believe that it exists to the level that it does.  It is important for every adult to know the signs and if you suspect something, report it.  Too many people do not want to make a report because they are afraid to get involved.  It is every adults mandated duty, by law, to report to law enforcement or CPS any suspicion they may have about physical or sexual abuse relating to a child.  You may be the person that saves that child’s life, childhood, etc.  You do not have to have evidence, just a reasonable suspicion to make a report without malice.

 Signs of child physical or sexual abuse may include:  unexplained injuries, changes in behavior, returning to earlier behaviors (such as thumb sucking or bed wetting), fear of going home, changes in eating or sleeping habits, changes in school performance and attendance, lack of personal care or hygiene, risk-taking behaviors, and inappropriate sexual behaviors.  If a child tells you something has happened to them, please follow these steps:  listen to and tell them you believe them, remain calm, do NOT ask an abundance of questions, do NOT panic, and do NOT press the child to talk; contact law enforcement and call the Texas Child Abuse Hotline at 800-252-5400 as soon as possible.

            Children are counting on you to stand up for them and report your suspicions or any specific information a child tells you about child abuse.  For more information you can contact Amy Ramsey at 903-454-9999.

Amy Ramsey/Director of Community Outreach & Education

Hunt County Children’s Advocacy Center/Crisis Center of Northeast Texas

DrugFree Greenville Public Education Committee