Tag Archives: Abuse

What You Need to Know About Sexual Assault

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What is sexual assault and how often does it occur?  Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit CONSENT of the recipient.  A sexual assault occurs every 107 seconds, which is less than 2 minutes; these numbers are based on people that have chosen to report their sexual assault.  Sexual assault occurs right here in Hunt County just like it does in larger counties.  The crime of sexual assault is a highly under-reported crime based on the known statistics of 1 in 5 individuals will be sexually assaulted between the ages of 18-24 years old, therefore, there are many unreported cases that are still unknown. 

Based on statistics from RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) there are approximately 207,000 cases of sexual assault that occurs each year.  Approximately 54% of those victims will choose not to report their assault.  Approximately 2/3 of sexual assault cases are committed by a friend or acquaintance of the victim and there is a small percentage that is a stranger rape.  Approximately 97% of rapists will not spend a single day in jail.  According to the statistics from RAINN the ages of the victims fall where 80% are under the age of 30 and about 44% are under the age of 18 years old.  Statistics of sexual assault on college campuses from Sarah Lawrence College state that there are about 35 incidents of sexual assault for every 1000 students that are reported. 

How can sexual assault happen?  About 57% of assaults have happened while on dates.  Approximately 55% of women who are assaulted admitted to having a drink, taking drugs, or being drugged before the assault.  The number one drug used to commit sexual assault is alcohol. However, just because a victim may have had alcohol will not and should negate from them reporting an assault and it being taken seriously.   Sexual assault occurs within every demographic.  It is not dependent on one’s age, ethnicity, gender, or social class. More than half of all rapes have occurred within a mile of the survivor’s home. 

The dynamics of sexual assault may include an attempt to control, manipulate, or demean another person using physical, emotional, spiritual, psychological or sexual tactics.  Most often an intimate partner manipulates the victim by threat, force, or coercion, to do something the victim does not want to do, without any concern for the rights or well-being of the victim.  Sexual assault/rape is often about Power and Control. 

Stay safe by going places in groups (including the bathroom), do not assume that because someone is “nice” that they will not cause you harm (be cautious), be careful on social media (do not talk to or meet in person strangers from the online world), and do not take an opened drink from anyone or leave your drink unattended (even if it is a soft drink or tea.)

If you have been sexually assaulted and need help, you do NOT have to suffer in silence, please contact our 24/7 365 day Hotline at:  903-454-9999.

By:  Amy Ramsey / Director of Community Outreach & Education

Hunt County Children’s Advocacy Center / Crisis Center of Northeast Texas

I Didn’t Mean to Abuse My Child

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Lorene was a twenty-seven year old widow and mother of two, her children are nine and three. Their world is shattered with the sudden and untimely death of her husband and the children, one who will not have any memories of him now wander into a season of unintended consequences…

The CDC defines child abuse and neglect as “any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child.”

Lorene like so many others can be side swiped by life and left feeling like their trying to find a firm footing while walking and a water bed, there is no firm place to stand and every action causes an unknown and sometimes unwanted reaction. They long for just a modicum of what they once knew as normal. But those moments can be far apart and often too short.

The work of two parents had become doubled upon one leading to long days and lonely nights. She worked so hard to fill the many voids left in her  heart, mind, and life. Her families needs called for courage, and she answered! Her personal needs called also, this was a more difficult call, one that meant choices that would affect both hers and her children’s lives. The medication she entrusted to keep her on an emotional even-keel would be joined by something to help her both begin and end her day. Her once social drinking became a greater and great necessity often conflicting with her medications. Her social life would become a long list of night spots with an even longer list of men who past through their lives. 

At its peak, this led to her placing the youngest in the care of family members for extended periods of time while her oldest was called upon to be a somewhat “Faux” adult, be included in conversations and circumstances that were far beyond him. The neglect of a child isn’t always a willful intended choice, more often, it is a misguided unintentional pursuit of needs, wants, or addictions. Lorene’s neglect of her children began slowly but grew steadily in the shadow of her better judgment. When family members would address it with her she was left with only two choices repent and change her ways, or justify her choices which usually lead to arguments and discord.

Becoming a parent doesn’t mean we lose ourselves and become immune to the struggles of life and effects they may cause. However, we must always remember that our responsibility is to protect, provide, and guide for our children, we are forming a future adult and the early years are important. Trust me, I know first hand because I’m Lorene’s son. I truly love my Mom, and as a Father I can appreciate the challenges she faced. Her neglect wasn’t intentional, but they were choices that left life-long imprints on me. Parents, please make good choices.

Rev. Jimmy Vaughn

Authentic Life Fellowship

DrugFree Greenville Public Education Committee

Child Abuse Awareness

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Child physical and sexual abuse is alarmingly prevalent in all communities. In Hunt County, approximately every 15 hours there is a confirmed case of child abuse.  These crimes have a lifelong effect on children and what type of adults they will become.  Many of us would like to believe that we would be able to recognize if abuse was happening to our own children.  Even more of us believe that we would know who the perpetrator is.  Unfortunately, upwards of 90% of all perpetrators is someone the child and the family knows, loves, and trusts; less than 1% of perpetrators are strangers.

            National research and statistics show that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18 years of age. 1 in 10 children will tell.  The statistics in Hunt County line up with those nationwide numbers as well.  It is in our backyard!  Perpetrators will groom the child and those around them to ensure the child will not tell and the perpetrator is not suspected.  Grooming is typically done in a very subtle way by using words, gifts, and coercion, but could also be direct by using threats to the child.

            This subject is difficult to discuss or believe that it exists to the level that it does.  It is important for every adult to know the signs and if you suspect something, report it.  Too many people do not want to make a report because they are afraid to get involved.  It is every adults mandated duty, by law, to report to law enforcement or CPS any suspicion they may have about physical or sexual abuse relating to a child.  You may be the person that saves that child’s life, childhood, etc.  You do not have to have evidence, just a reasonable suspicion to make a report without malice.

 Signs of child physical or sexual abuse may include:  unexplained injuries, changes in behavior, returning to earlier behaviors (such as thumb sucking or bed wetting), fear of going home, changes in eating or sleeping habits, changes in school performance and attendance, lack of personal care or hygiene, risk-taking behaviors, and inappropriate sexual behaviors.  If a child tells you something has happened to them, please follow these steps:  listen to and tell them you believe them, remain calm, do NOT ask an abundance of questions, do NOT panic, and do NOT press the child to talk; contact law enforcement and call the Texas Child Abuse Hotline at 800-252-5400 as soon as possible.

            Children are counting on you to stand up for them and report your suspicions or any specific information a child tells you about child abuse.  For more information you can contact Amy Ramsey at 903-454-9999.

Amy Ramsey/Director of Community Outreach & Education

Hunt County Children’s Advocacy Center/Crisis Center of Northeast Texas

DrugFree Greenville Public Education Committee

Teen Dating Violence

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Teen dating violence is something that affects more teenagers than most realize. According to the CDC, nearly 1 in 11 female and approximately 1 in 14 male high school students report having experienced physical dating violence. However, teen dating violence isn’t just physical violence. It’s also psychological or sexual abuse, harassment, or stalking of any person ages 12 to 18 in the context of a past or present romantic or consensual relationship. Each of these can look like the following:

  • Physical Abuse: hitting, biting, shoving, hair pulling, scratching
  • Emotional or Psychological Abuse: name calling, bullying, shaming, intentionally embarrassing, constant monitoring
  • Sexual Abuse: forcing a teen partner to engage in a sexual act against or without their consent
  • Stalking: Repeatedly following or harassing a teen partner in a way that causes them reasonable fear for their safety or well-being

The effects of dating violence can be severe. Teens that experience dating violence are more likely to:

  • Experience symptoms of depression and anxiety
  • Engage in unhealthy behaviors, like using tobacco, drugs, and alcohol
  • Exhibit antisocial behaviors like lying, theft, bullying, or hitting
  • Have suicidal thoughts

A great resource for learning more about teen dating violence is loveisrespect.org. This website is also a helpful resource to share with someone in an abusive relationship. On this site you’ll find warning signs, what healthy relationships look like, how to set boundaries and understand consent. You’ll also find resources like creating a safety plan, how to support a friend or family member, and a hotline number.

We at Women In Need teach four main red flags that act as warning signs that someone could potentially be abusive one day. These are manipulation, isolation, control, and extreme jealousy. Manipulation can look like someone telling you that you remember a situation incorrectly, making you feel like you need to apologize for something that wasn’t your fault, or accusing you of doing something that never happened. Isolation is when a partner tries to keep you from friends and family. They can do this by trying to pit you against them or making it to where you only rely on that partner for needs. Control is when your partner tries to tell you who you can and can’t hang out with, where you can and can’t go, or even what you can wear. Extreme Jealousy can look like many things. For example, it may be that your partner won’t let you have friends of the opposite sex, gets angry when you talk to or mention someone else, or demands to look at your phone and have passwords to your social media accounts. Jealousy is a perfectly normal emotion, but taken too far it can be emotionally abusive, making it a red flag.

By giving examples of what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like through lessons for students in 6th-12th grade, the goal of Women In Need’s preventive education team is to prevent violence from ever happening. In addition to our preventive education, our offices offer a crisis hotline, shelter, legal advocates for those seeking a protective order, and support groups for anyone who may be in need. If you or someone you know need help or have questions, our crisis number is 903 454 4357 and our website is www.wintexas.org.

DrugFree Greenville Public Education Committee